Chats with Charlie 2.1

This series will usually consist of three Q’s answered every week so if yours isn’t loaded this week it will be next – but answers left to wait will be sent via personal message ASAP. Just loaded online the following week. This is to keep the segment short and snappy but also ensure that those wanting help get it ASAP.

To enhance this feature and get even more of you sending in questions I’ve also made an anonymous link (via good old Ask.fm) for anyone and everyone to send in any Q’s anonymously. Fancy sending in a question this way? Go ahead… All questions get answered!

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Is it bad that I don’t want a relationship? I find myself having constant hookups or one night stands and sleep with them and then never see them again. I feel if people in my life knew this about me they would judge me, but I don’t want to feel tied down by a relationship and I’m having fun!

cropped-blue-logo.jpg There is one simple quote that many people forget: you do you. Or, in this case other people, funny? Maybe a little! Your sexual and romantic relationships are nobodies business but you are and those who you choose to involve. The fact you’re asking for reassurance means two very important things, things that need addressing. Firstly, for you to fear this kind of response from your friends and family suggests that they can be judgemental on your life. Also, that you feel the need to have reassurance off others. This is normally a sign of low self esteem. 

You must feel free to make our own decisions without the influence of others. Next time you’re about to do something ask yourself: “do I really want to be doing this?” You might be surprised by how many small subliminal behaviours are being subconsciously controlled. Your life should be full of decisions that make you happy with people who support everything you do, whatever that may be.

Sex is whatever people make of it, whether you enjoy casual encounters with sexy strangers in bars, a standing arrangement with a friend or loving sex with your partner. It sounds like you’re really enjoying the freedom of doing things on your own terms with people you find attractive. It’s empowering to fulfil your desires and you’re enjoying your decisions while, most likely, living day-to-day life feeling satisfied! Remember: you do you.

 

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cropped-blue-logo.jpg Advice for the courage to ask someone out? & What’s the best way to wow a woman?

I  put these two questions together as they’re very similar and so commonly asked!

Every person you try to ‘woo’ will be different. I find it comforting to wonder if they’re trying to ‘woo’ back, if so, pressure is off a little. Long gone are the days of romantic gestures sang in public by Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. None of us are that lucky anymore. *Sigh*

Decide what you want to happen before deciding on your plan of action, this way you can aim for the desired response and tailor your actions to that. Nobody likes mixed messages.

It can be small things like Instagram likes, asking to go out for coffee or starting to spend time in small groups. Anything, as long as it’s something. That’s the crucial thing here.

Someone may notice these small signs and take the lead which is so much easier. But, do you want that? Or do you want to be the person who made it happen? I know what I’d rather be. (The person being wooed haha!)

Big or small, just something.

Please note that all messages sent will be answered with sensitivity and honesty. If you want some advice to feel free to contact me via Facebook, Twitter or email and I will answer via a post, you will be kept anonymous. As I said above I also have an anonymous link that proves to be very popular so send in here if that sounds like you!

Chats w Charlie

Answer ‘ears’ courtesy of Wiki.

Disclaimer: All questions are answered by myself. My views come from my own little heart breaks – if any can be little) and a Psychology A-Level. I am not a professional but do offer a willing ear to all. If and when necessary I will advise more educated help.

 

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