Nobody is born self conscious of their vagina. We don’t look in the mirror when puberty hits and decide to spend £15,000 on getting a porn-perfect ‘front bum’ without social pressures playing their part.

Here’s the bad news…

Yes, men can be disgusting. Porn has brainwashed a portion of men, and admittedly that portion isn’t small, into believing that vagina’s hit puberty and don’t change. They do. They can darken or grow, hair sprouts and blood seeps out of that area once a month.

Every vagina is different just like every person is!

Though some men don’t always seem to accept this. After hundreds of hours of porn and thousands of electronically enhanced (aka photoshopped) images of unrealistic women it’s not hard to see why normal bodies can quickly be seen as ‘abnormal’.

Male friends will (begrudgingly) admit to conversations where vagina’s with visible inner labia can get labelled as ‘kebab meat’ or ‘roast beef’. Those folds of skin that you uneducated lads (and sometimes lasses) refer to as ‘saggy vagina’ is actually scientifically known as a ladies ‘vulva’.

Yes, we live in a world where people judge and insult body parts – natural body parts that people have no control over. How boring would it be if we were all the same? Every single woman shouldn’t want the same vagina – I sure as hell don’t want a boy I’m with to think my vagina looks exactly the same as the woman before me.

I wish I could comfort you that all men don’t actually care and that their insults are just showing off banter between ‘lads’ (which wouldn’t be okay anyway) but I can’t even assure any women that. The world does have sexist pigs who judge and ridicule.

Do you want to show these guys your most private part? They do not deserve the most intimate part of yourself – all they deserve is to educate themselves on vagina’s and women. On being a human being.

However, there is good news…

We are currently living in the most liberated generation – embrace the times, your gender and your body!

Also, not all guys think negatively about vaginas. Meet a guy who is nasty about your vagina? Sack him off. Meet a guy who can’t get enough of your vagina and acknowledges just how cute it is? That’s great, but shouldn’t be a surprise – this should be an expectation. Don’t reward behaviour that should be expected – you and your vagina deserve love and nothing less.

Abnormal or Adorable?

Talk to any health professional and they will assure you that being self conscious about your vagina is more common than wanting to drop your drawers at the click of a finger. Porn has got to us all. There’s no such thing as abnormal when it comes to labia.

Did you know that nobody has identical lips either side? How comforting is that fact? But also not shocking, not at all. That’s also comforting. Vagina’s aren’t symmetrical and it’s completely normal for women’s inner labia to protrude beyond the outer lips.

Blame porn – we should all, men and women alike, fight the fight against discrimination because of porn. Don’t hate the women, hate the producers – those women only look the way because of the pressure from their producers and that transpires to pressure on us – women of the world. Sadly this means the more porn a guy watches the less educated they are on real women with real body parts. 

Labiaplasty/costy-aloty 

Who’s loving the designer vagina trend? Those cashing in on it – cosmetic surgeons. I do feel that sometimes surgery can be right for some people: inner labia can become uncomfortable, infected or dry. If your labia is damaging your health or affecting your day to day life then yes, surgery may be right for you.

But, if it’s only society making you uncomfortable then no, surgery isn’t the best option. Self love and confidence is.

Once you have made those cuts and your lips are quite literally in the bin that’s it, they’re gone. Fashions change – that’s why some celebrities have their boobs done six/seven times, to keep up to date. One day your vagina could be back in fashion.

But, even worse than that… once your flesh is in the bin, so are those nerve endings. Your labia is full of them. Sex can become less enjoyable and reaching climax can become really difficult. The more labia = more nerve-endings/pleasurable area to cover! Who wants to give up that?

So, for all you vulva fascists insulting women’s ‘ugly vaginas’ you’re being silly, not only because you’re making yourself a lesser candidate to have sex with but also because those ‘disgusting women’ are easier to please, which is going to be necessary if your brainwashed-porn-minds go in thinking it’s as easy as porn to please a real woman.

Feminist women are not so empowered that they become immune to all critique and social pressures. All women are human and unless a woman has thrown back a couple of glasses of wine (or a dozen shots) you can bet she is wondering what you’re thinking when her pants come down and her vulnerability is not able to hide – unless those lights are off and inhibitions lowered.

Featured image courtesy of Stay at Home Mom.