Women everywhere seem to date three guys before finding ‘the one’. Most of us even add a few little cheeky extra’s to that list.
There are some lucky ladies who seemingly skip the list and fall head-over-heels for a guy in the seventh grade – who even likes them back. Lucky enough to marry off young and keep their sexual conquest count on one hand. Not everyone is so lucky.
The rest of us seem to all date these three guys: first love, the bad boy and the comfort blanket.
Some women are lucky enough to find their first love, marry them and live happily ever after. Most women aren’t so lucky. Most women find a man who has one vital fault that makes this impossible, whether it be hating their family, a personal flaw or simply personality clashes where love just isn’t enough. Love isn’t enough.
The trick is to think of this guy fondly, whether you’re married to him now or remembering him back then. First love sucks, it is necessary. That doesn’t make it suck less. It’s necessary to learn that love needs nurturing, that love doesn’t always mean trust and you can love from afar.
The Bad Boy…
All women have dated him, and enjoyed it. Until, of course, the guy we vowed we could ‘change’ taught us a vital lesson. Leopards don’t change their spots and cheaters will do it again. No, seriously, they fucking will.
We’ve all warned our parents before getting them to meet the man that we know we won’t marry. The man that will give us the lustful memories we can frame in our minds when we’re having boring missionary sex with our husbands in the future for the umpteenth time.
You know he’s probably going to break your heart and take your dignity too? You do it anyway. As the song goes ‘I can make a bad guy good for the weekend’ – what about the rest of the week?
The Comfort Blanket…
The guy who’s kind of boring, your family love him though as he’s an over correction of your previous ‘bad boy’. However, he doesn’t make your heart jump and you don’t get his jokes. Or his job (what does he actually do again?). Or political views. Or anything for that matter.
He’s nice. You don’t give up your heart for ‘nice’, but he does mend it.
Now for a guy who’s not on the list, secret man number four…
You may not think you love him as passionately as your first, but you do. It’s a different type of love. It’s mature and respectful. It is going to still love you when your pregnant and impossible, even when you’re taking your last breath. This guy will hate the other guys on your ‘list’, and he won’t belong in it himself. Make sure you don’t punish him for the mistakes of the others. This man will love you not only as a woman who will bear his children but also as an individual who’s views he can challenge and sense of humour that will make his cheeks hurt.